Grieving For Your Bulldog

I debated about writing this blog since it’s highly emotional and personal but I feel like it’s important to share everything that might help others so here goes. Nine years ago I lost my daughter to childbirth and she had a beautiful little bulldog named Ruby Jewel. My daughter’s husband kept Ruby for five years until his job demanded he spend too much time away from her and then she came to live with grandma. Ruby Jewel was a special bulldog. She had manners. She was an alpha when it suited her and pampered when she wanted attention. She gave kisses but only if you really earned them. She was a princess and raised by my daughter so that didn’t surprise me at all. If bulldogs could be girly girls she was one of those. If you were doing something like touching her feet she would scrunch up her nose at you and warn you to back off. She’d give you the EYES if she wanted something and she’d get it every time. Ruby was one in a million. She did a happy dance where she would wiggle and jump in circles when she was over the moon about something.

Ruby left me heartbroken on February first. She was almost 13 years old and I’m so grateful for all the years we had her. She was my miracle puppy. She was stolen from us when she was 8 weeks old by a woman who came to my house and pretended to be a buyer and when I went to get my phone to run her credit card she slipped out the front door and disappeared with Ruby. I got it all over the news and a wonderful woman saw the story in the Denver Post and called me telling me who had her. She was brought home and never left our side after that. It’s so rare that a stolen bulldog is ever found so we truly believed she was our miracle and she was.

I talk to people all the time who have lost their beloved babies and I’ve cried with them and grieved with them. I know how it feels to give your heart to a bulldog and lose a piece of it when they leave this world. My first bulldog Tank was taken from us through a horrible accident and I was so inconsolable that I had to get another bulldog right away. There was a Grand Canyon hole in my heart that I had to fill. There are people who wait years before getting another one. Some never do. Everyone is different. You can go through crying, anxiety and fear, difficulty sleeping, frustration, anger, loss of focus, fatigue, weight fluctuations, digestive issues, headaches and all sorts of odd aches and pains.

At times you may feel completely numb and at others you may feel. overwhelmed with emotion. Both are normal and so is every conceivable response in between. There is no wrong way to grieve. There are wonderful places you can go for support. There is a Pet Parent Grief Line at 1.844.472.9588 or you can go to their website at petparengriefsupport.com if you need to talk to someone.

Nowadays pets are companions to many people who live alone and need support both emotional and physical. When a dog passes away and he or she has been your focus and your days revolve around them suddenly it’s all different and that takes time to process so be kind to yourself and take the time you need to get used to this life you didn’t want. My sister told me that the Indians believe that making the most sound you can when you cry releases the pain and helps your spirit let go of it. I would have to agree with that since holding it in only hurts more. It’s okay to cry and let yourself feel what you feel.

I spent some time going through my phone and looking at all the pictures of Ruby and videos I took of her. I smiled and giggled and laughed for a while. I felt better. I realized something important. I gave her a good life for the years she was with me and I have no unfinished business with her. I sent her to be with her mama in a world of light and love. It makes me smile to picture her running to my daughter and giving her kisses and wiggles. She would hop and wiggle when she was happy.

Ruby was pure love and joy. Even though I will miss her terribly I feel such peace knowing she is out of pain and happy with my daughter. Sometimes you have to just feel the sunshine on your face and wrap the memories around you like a blanket to keep you warm. Make lots of memories so that blanket is a big one. If any of you ever need to you can always call me or send me. pictures of your baby. I’d love to hear your stories and listen to you if you need someone to talk to. 303.653.1437 - Call anytime,

(((((hugs)))))

Adele